What's In A Name?

I nearly overslept for work this morning. Well, actually I woke up a bit too early, around 3:00 a.m.. I was hungry, so I fixed something to eat and retired to the couch to take a nap around 4:30. My phone rings at 4:55. I don't answer. I know it's the house supervisor calling to tell me I had the option to stay home if I wanted. However, I only worked 2 shifts this week so far, and so, it was not really an option. I fall back asleep and somehow sleep through all 3 alarms I have set. It's now 6:45. S**T! I gotta get to work! I get dressed, grab my things and am out the door by 6:50. I walk to the unit at a much faster pace than normal. Upon my arrival, I set everything up and prepare to get report. Only I can see the nurse giving report to someone else. I stop her and ask why the other nurse is taking my patients and explain that I must work today. The nurse taking report tells me her name, which has the same odd spelling as mine. What are the chances? We get the charge nurse involved who backs me as I am a full-time employee, and the other me is not. This enrages her and we end up getting the house supervisor involved. To her dismay and my delight, I get to stay, and she has to go home. I felt bad, but it was MY name (first and last) on the schedule. To make things worse, the night nurse turns to me, with the infuriated nurse standing at her side and says in a very peppy cheerleader voice, "Ok. Ready to take report?" Why couldn't she have waited a few minutes? This was like adding salt to the wounds of the nurse whose pain I felt yesterday.

I have a pretty steady shift, which is quite unusual for the type of patients I have. But hey, I'm not complaining!

So I have some time to think...and my mind wanders for a while. It suddenly stops on the idea of personalizing my license plate. [Backstory: After my wreck (see profile), I just knew God was going to send me a sign through my new license plate. When it arrived, the three letters were "MUD". And ever since, my family has endearingly called me "Mud". ] Do I really want this on my license plate or am I doing it to please my family? I enjoy the nickname, but do I really want to be "Mud" for the rest of my life? And do I like it so much that I want to create a reason for more people to call me by it? Will it change me more than it already has? Whether I like it or not, people see me as "Mud" and I have somewhat embodied this name.

So the question remains...What should I do? On one hand, it reminds me of how lucky I am to be alive. On the other, it reminds me that a drunk driver stripped me of many things and how hard I had to fight to get my world right-side up again. Do I really want to remember that struggle every single day?

Yes. In some form or another, I do want to remember it. It is what makes me thankful for the life I have today, how hard I worked for it, and that I will not let myself down. I defied all odds then, and I still have the ability to do so. I don't have to rehash all the details, I can simply accept it. And I will do just that.

-Gray