Exes and Ohs.

I have an account on a popular social networking website that displays my relationship status along with the name of my boyfriend and a link to his page. I have updated my "status" bar many times to say how happy/lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life. And I truly am.

So now, I have almost everything I want at this stage in my life. I graduated from nursing school late last year and have begun my career. I live in a great apartment community with great neighbors and friends, my friends and family are fun to be around and usually very supportive, and the amazing man I am fortunate to call my boyfriend.

Thus, you can probably understand why I find it absolutely hilarious when an ex contacts me these days. Four of them have contacted me.
____________________________________________________________________
1. Occupational Paramedic

The first one "friend requested" me early last month on the aforementioned website.

My thoughts:

1. First of all, I haven't heard from you in months.
2. Are you freaking crazy? Oh wait, you are. Hmph.
3. Even though I could have been a good sport about it, I find no reason to be "friends" with someone I am not actually friends with.
4. Absolutely not.

Therefore, I said no and wrote an email just in case his dog had died, our mutual friends needed help or whatever.

"What do you want?" was all it said.

In response, he sent me an email stating "Just wanted to say hi thought we could be civil."

Oh, Thats's the wrong answer buddy!

After speaking to one of our mutual friends [even though she really doesn't like him, she's just dating his ex-roommate], informed me of his true motives. He wanted to let me know he was dating someone new.

My thoughts:
1. Wow. And you think I care?
2. How stupid is she? [yes I was stupid too, but now I know better]
3. We need to tell this girl to run as fast as she can.
4. I hope he's happy. [I know I am.]

With this in mind, I responded only to his email and not his motive.

"I thought so too, but you have no respect for anyone else. So please, leave me alone."

And then....VICTORY! I haven't heard from him since.
____________________________________________________________________
2. Stuck at Best-Buy

The second is a decent guy, but is just not ready to date one person...despite what he tells you. He is just one of those people who isn't really happy with where he is in life, but isn't doing anything to change it either. For Pete's sake, I had to help him pick out what color to paint his kitchen! Is that so hard? Really?

The aforementioned website involved yet again. He sends me instant messages which seem very innocent at first. Just the usual "hey", "how are you", "liking your job" type of things.

I got suspicious when he started saying things like "nurses are hot", "are you happy now", "if i got hurt would there be a single nurse to take care of me".

Oh, really?

I reassured him that I am happy with my new beau, my job and that I did not know of any single nurses. I further replied that nurses are usually taken because generally, we have good hearts [or we wouldn't be doing what we do] and people know our worth. Yes, this was a stab at the you-should-have-treated-me-better- but-it's-okay-because-you-regret-it-now place inside him.

I do not mind being an acquaintance of his, but we keep our conversations short and to the point now. VICTORY again!!
____________________________________________________________________
3. Fireman

This is a guy I went to high school with and despite his small stature, I had a crush on for a while. We started dating and everything was going fine for a while. But then...he stood me up on my birthday, which followed with some other random drama that I honestly can't remember.

For the past few months, he's been dating a beautiful lady and seemed very happy. So I have been extremely happy for him. I was hoping this was THE girl for him. He's a good guy, but just does stupid guy things. Don't get me wrong...we figured out we weren't good together, but we can still be friends at a distance. No phone calls or texts...just an occasional hello through...you guessed it...the social networking website.

We talked about hanging out and I said it would be great to go on a double date. Unfortunately, he and his girlfriend had broken up the night before and the was on the aforementioned website to update his status. Oops.

But then it hit me...is he striking up a conversation with me because he's single now?
Ha ha. I can't believe this. He tells me that he's going out tonight with some of our mutual friends and that I am invited, then adds in a few minutes later that my boyfriend is too. Why is it that he even thought I would go without my beau? What is he thinking?

[Don't get the wrong impression. My boyfriend holds no limitations on what I can and cannot do, other than the normal committed issues. He knows I would NEVER do anything to put our relationship in any type of jeopardy. But he also knows that I wouldn't put him in an odd situation either.]

Double dating is one thing, but this? It just seems a little weird. So I decline. I receive a text message at 3:36 a.m. just saying "Where did you go!?" He might be wondering what I did tonight, but I'm wondering why he's drunk text messaging me. So I don't respond even though I'm wide awake.

Nearly a week later, he sees that I'm online and sends me an instant message regarding the text he sent so late. It was endearing that he said that he was worried about getting me "in trouble" with my boyfriend. I am intrigued. What exactly does he mean by this? It better not be what it sounds like! I calm down and ask him to elaborate even though I feel like punching his face through my screen.

Oh, it's a good thing I did. He states that he did not realize how late it was and was sorry because he though the boyfriend was next to me in bed and would have gotten mad. I'm actually relieved that he accepts the fact that, although not life-threatening, he made a mistake by text messaging me so late, etc.

Genuine? Maybe, maybe not...but I'll take it as VICTORY #3.
____________________________________________________________________
4. Army Ranger

This is a very tall, very lanky guy who joined the Army and became a Ranger after high school.
We had a high school relationship over 9 years ago and I hadn't seen him in a few years. One year he came home for Thanksgiving and we were hanging out at a mutual friend's house. The connection was still there so we were dating once again.

Although we were states away and sometimes couldn't talk to each other for days at a time, I was doing just fine with our long distance relationship. He told me he wanted things between us to be more serious and that he was thinking of leaving the military and coming back home. What he didn't tell me was that he was actually full of sh*t and what he really meant was "I'm going to stop calling you and in a few years I will tell you that I was on a secret mission and couldn't use my phone."

Really? Did he forget we have mutual friends who contradict this story entirely? Idiot. Honestly, I find his stupidity hilarious.

So, back to present day. I haven't really heard from or spoken to him in a few years and while I'm on the same social website, he sends me a few instant messages. They all start out friendly and then progress to "missing hanging out." WHOA BUDDY! Stop right there...dead in your tracks.

At this point, I tell him we had fun in years past, but I am a different person now and hope he is too.

He questions what I mean by this.

"Oh, well...you were a fun to hang out with, but you were also a dirt bag when it came down to it. I don't regret being friends, etc. with you, but man I'm glad we never slept together! Furthermore, I'm happy where I am right now and avoid going back home sometimes so I don't have to deal with people who are just plain drama."

No response.

I'll take it. Yes I will. VICTORY #4.
____________________________________________________________________
They say the people you surround yourself with are a reflection on yourself. And I cringe when I admit I dated all four of these guys. I have changed in numerous ways since dating each of them, and think maybe they had something to do with it. If so, thanks to the exes. If not, oh well, it's another thing I can say I did by myself. Either way, I'm better off today.

-Gray