Please, I beg you.

It is so hard to know someone who means so much to me drinks and drives. This just tears me to pieces. It was not even five years ago when my life was turned completely upside-down by someone who did the same. I just wonder if I should start writing your eulogy now.
I am furious, I am sad, I am scared.

I begin to think, "Do I not mean enough? What about your family and friends?"

I have expressed my concerns more than once and desperately try not to sound like a "mother hen" each time.

When I once more say that it bothers me, you have no response. Nothing at all.

Should I just start letting you slip away a little more every day so that it doesn't hurt as much when he kill yourself or someone else? Why is it that you cannot take this seriously? Is that you are still in that invincible stage? If this is the case, let me be the first to say...I thought I was too.

And I have had to fight tooth and nail to put my life back together. And I'll be damned if I have to do it again because I came in town to surprise you and you were on your way home from the bar after drinking. I'll be damned if I stick by your side after you kill someone else or put someone through what a 19 year-old put me through. I'll be damned if you I stay and watch you tempt fate, and too often win, for at some point, fate always wins...I'll be damned if I'm left behind to say, "Yes, the guy in the coffin, that was my boyfriend."

I just wish you understood.

Until you do, I'll be hopeful and still loving you,

-Gray