Men vs. Women

My current relationship, as I have said before, is nothing like any courtships of the past. I know that nothing in its entirety is perfect, but I really question if its impossible for two people to be a perfect match. Previously, I had thought that it was more a matter of trust and respect alone, but now I am starting to see that it can be both.

One of my neighbors is going through the process of becoming certified to teach. In one of her meetings, she was given a list of attributes which she had to rate herself. It ended up identifying her as a color. She's an "orange".

She came right over and told me that she swears I'm a "green" and that my boyfriend must be an "orange" and we just HAD to take this test. So we did. To my surprise, the results were just as she predicted. It even pinpointed our qualities, likes and dislikes pretty well.

In reviewing each of our "needs for relationships" we were both somewhat stunned at the accuracy it provided and how we incidentally gave the other exactly what we needed most of the time. It would have been much easier had we taken this "quiz" earlier in our relationship as some of those "needs" were discovered through trial and error. For example...the fact that I am very independent and I feel defeated if I cannot figure something out by myself. Trying to help before I ask for assistance...not a good idea. This is a quality that my boyfriend likes, most times. But I still found it interesting how this activity accurately pointed out how well we seem to complement each other.

As I said before, nothing is perfect. And when it's not, I go back to a few simple, but proven rules.

1. Men and Women think completely differently! Nothing will ever change this. Women unintentionally complicate matters because we are used to analyzing every detail of our own thoughts. Men...they just state what they think and what they mean. So if he didn't say it, don't blame him, clarify it, or harp on it. He said what he was thinking and probably was too busy trying to figure out how to make a jet-pack for himself using only household products. Don't get me wrong. The minds of men can be both in the moment as well, or both. They are capable of this! Just calm down, don't analyze it, and if it seems mean, take it with a grain of salt.

2. If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be. At least that goes for any upstanding man in this lifetime. He's not going to waste his time being with someone he doesn't want to be around when there's a (female:male) 10:1 ratio.

3. You have to be two separate people. It doesn't matter if you've been together since you were 3 yrs old. You will need time apart: time for you alone and time for your friends and family without him. Otherwise you become one person and leave yourself behind. If he wanted to be in a relationship with himself, he wouldn't waste time with complications of a woman.

4. Respect goes much farther than you can imagine. I respect his needs as much as I can, although there are a few times where I can blame my stupid hormones! I definitely suggest looking up the definition of respect. Because of our respect for one another, we have a relationship that has minimal stress and drama, like almost non-existent.

I love the fact that I can be exactly who I am, even if I'm still figuring that out for myself. I can honestly say this is the most genuine relationship I have ever been in, and it is so much easier with this man. We have our ups and downs, but he knows when he's wrong [and will admit it and apologize] and I can usually figure out that my hormones are out of whack [tell him I'm sorry for being all "girl" on him]. Still, its the easiest and most joyful courtship of mine to date.

You know what thrills my boyfriend...

1. When I buy his favorite spinach dip from the store, even though it costs twice as much as the others.

2. When I text message him saying "Hey babe, UFC starts at 6pm, St. Pierre vs. Hughes. Muah." [He watches UFC, I have little interest in it.]

3. When he's stressed about where to go or what to do, I tell him the truth. "I don't care what we do, as long as I'm with you." I think he's finally catching on. [But we are one of those couples that can sit at home and have just as good a time as going out, maybe better.]

4. When something is very important to him, and I treat it as such. You may not understand or enjoy it, but he probably doesn't understand eyelash curlers. [I have been fortunate enough that most our interests are similar.]


The fun and silly things are the most entertaining. Learn to enjoy the moments. The things that we have shared with each other are precious and extremely valuable to me. When I need a laugh, I can think of something he told me, and my day takes a turn for the better.

Being able to see the big picture means that you don't blow things out of proportion and can see past the argument. Take it from me, I've been there more than I like to admit.

-Gray