Kiss My Fears Away.

One thing I have come to realize is that I am not nearly as romantic as I once thought I was. Independent...absolutely. Pragmatic...most of the time. I have just always regarded it as taking take of things that need to get done.

Last Thursday, I had to bring my boyfriend to the airport. He and his mom were meeting up and flying out on an emergency trip to see a sick family member before his passing. I knew they needed to go and supported both of them in this. We enjoyed our "romantic" airport breakfast of water and peanut butter cups and I walked with him to the security station. He gave me one last hug and kiss and I told him to take care of his mom, that I would see him soon, and we exchanged our "I love you"'s. All of this was fine with me until I turned around, walked down the stairs and made my way to my truck.

It was like a ton of bricks hit me all at once. Tears began streaming down my face as I felt my bottom lip protrude in pouting. I thought to myself, "Why am I such a wreck?" He'll be back in a few days.

The more I thought about it, the more confused I was. Was it because we were at an airport? Or was it because I just realized that I have never loved someone more? Undoubtedly, it was both.

While he gone, [unbeknownst to him] I moved most of his things into his new place. I worked diligently until I injured myself so badly that I felt I would rather die...and I knew he would be mad if he found out [only that I had hurt myself]. So I ventured back home, took a shower and tried to go to bed...without much luck.

I had to work on day 2-4, so I knew I would keep myself busy. Despite all this, I didn't expect to miss him as much as I did. I kept thinking to my self , "He is only going to be away for 5 days." I kept reminding myself of this hoping it would help, and eventually it did.

He notified me of his arrival on the tarmac and told me there was a change of plans. Instead of going to drop his mom's car off at his cousin's house, he was coming straight to my place [as it was safer for her car]. I lept off the couch and started cleaning and doing laundry! [This means I'm excited!]

There was a knock at my front door, which usually means my upstairs neighbors have come to visit. Feeling a little bummed, I made my way out of the kitchen and unlocked the door. When I opened it, he rushed in showering me with hugs and kisses me like he hadn't seen me in a month or more. I think he missed me more, if that's possible. And even though I don't have many of them, my insecurities about his feelings for me are kissed away, one by one.

-Gray